Less is More

  I have been on a rampage lately.  Decluttering as much as I possibly can.  It's like this urge takes over me and I just want to get rid of stuff.  I'm so tired of stuff cluttering my space and my mind.  I want to make room for my needs.  Things that are necessary or beautiful.  I'm trying to incorporate more nature into my surroundings.  The beauty and breath that it brings is so worth the effort.  I constantly ask myself how did I end up with all of this stuff?  It's a constant struggle and it frustrates me tremendously.  I am not an organized person by nature.  But it's something I've always strived for.  I like knowing where things are and everything having a place.  I feel more at peace when my space is organized.  Who wants to search for something they need or look through piles of crap to find that one thing?
  Getting organized is a life long process for me.  I feel like each year I get better and figure things out a little more.  Will there ever be a time when it's effortless?  I have so many projects popping into my head lately.  Ooooh lets rip out those cabinets and build shelves!  Let's move these pieces of furniture out of the room and put a bench in.  I want my bedroom to be a romantic sanctuary.  Am I dreaming?  Walt and I deserve our own beautiful space right?  I want my laundry area to feel clean and fresh!  But every time I get rid of stuff and feel like it's finally a clean slate and I can do these projects more stuff accumulates somewhere else and I'm onto organizing and decluttering that space!  I am beyond frustrated with this process!!!!  Is it because I have small children?  Probably.  And I have to remind myself that spending time with them is so much more important than that pile of papers on my desk.  Here we go again with the balance issue...

Photography

  I've been lucky enough to get outside a couple of times this week and capture some nature shots.  I usually suffer from lack of inspiration in the winter but this year has been different.  I'm not sure if it's the warmer temperatures or my awareness is just changing.  But I have been finding so much beauty in this year's resting period...  I got a new lens for my camera and these are a few photos from my first shooting practice with it.   I feel like it's opened up a whole new world for me!

  Earlier in the week I went to Barclay Farmstead for the first time and was astounded by how beautiful it was.  I cannot wait to go back when everything is bloom!  Here are a few favorites from my shoot there...

 

La Bella Vida

 On Wednesday I celebrate my 35th birthday.   I find myself reflecting on my life and all of the lessons I've learned thus far.  It's pretty incredible to think about really.  All of the ways I've changed and grown through the years.  I feel more comfortable with who I am than ever and it feels amazing to admit that.  I've struggled with my weight and letting that define me for so long.  I feel like I've finally got a grasp on it.  I know it doesn't define me and it took me a very long to time to feel as beautiful on the outside as I do on the inside.  I'm doing my best to live with integrity and giving my spirit the space it needs to express itself with freedom and no judgement.  Through this process I've accumulated amazing friends and connections and I couldn't be happier with the circle of support I'm surrounded with.

  Lessons I've learned...     

Inspiration, creativity, joy, laughter, and love are the 5 key ingredients to a beautiful life.  At least in my world they are.  If you are a part of my world then you provide me with at least one of these qualities.

Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows.  And when dark times come about it's difficult to understand why.  But I truly believe allowing ourselves to learn and grow through these times only makes us stronger.  We all have our struggles and demons and learning how to overcome them is a personal journey we all must go through.  But when we surround ourselves with people who feed our souls I believe they give us strength and knowledge as long as we let them.

My children teach me more than I teach them.  Parenthood has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.  Before I became a mother I thought I was patient and totally care free. I couldn't have been more wrong about myself.  My children teach me how to let go of control and be ok with it.  They make me accountable for everything I do.  And they make me want to be the best me I can be.  For their sake and my own.  I've been incredibly blessed with 3 amazing, dynamic, and precious little individuals.  And giving them the space to express themselves and develop into kind, productive, and gracious human beings will always be the greatest challenge and gift of my life.  

Marriage requires attention and compromise.  Marriage is a life time commitment.  It requires effort on both parts.  You must always be willing to put effort into it or it will fall apart.  Take time to communicate and connect on a regular basis and always be willing to compromise.  I wrote a poem a few years ago about love and I feel it sums marriage up pretty well

Love is like a burning flame
it's beauty can hypnotize
if you nourish the flame with constant care
it's beauty never dies...

Friendships can be complicated.  Much like marriage friendship requires communication and effort.  If one person isn't willing to give you either of these most likely it will fall apart.  I view my friends as family and feel as if I can pick up right where we left off even if it's been weeks or months since we've spoken.  But there has to be an understanding that life happens and sometimes time just doesn't allow you to connect as often as you like to.  As long as you and your friend understand that, there should be no drama or problems.  There should always be a level of respect and love for your friends.  If they don't exist they may not be your friend after all...

  We must create balance in all aspects of our lives.  It's a constant struggle of mine to seek balance.  To maintain it is the hard part.  To keep the house in order at all times but not obsessively.  To let the kids make messes knowing that it will get cleaned up... eventually.  To not eat until I'm uncomfortable.  To not drink until I'm drunk.  To not shop if I don't need anything.  It's always something.  But I'm happier and healthier when I achieve balance and maintain it.  Things run smoothly and I feel like I can coast contently.  I think this lesson is one I will always struggle with...

Make time for yourself.  If you aren't taking the time to figure out what you love, what feeds your soul then I don't believe you'll ever find true happiness.  What is your passion?  What brings you joy?  Whatever it is make time to do it!  It makes you a better person!  Personally I need to be creatively productive in some way on a normal basis or I just don't feel alive.  I need to connect with nature with my camera in hand.  It's like therapy to me.  Taking time to get outside and take pictures makes a world of difference for me.  I love capturing the beauty in nature and people and sharing it with the world.  It brings me joy and I hope it always does.

  So there you have it!  A little insight into the depths of my soul.  I'm going to continue to do my best to live in the moment and enjoy every second of this beautiful life.  But I sure am looking forward to seeing what the next 35 years bring...

Distractions

I find myself somewhat resistant to all of the technology around me.  Sure I love my computer and can't imagine life without it.  But an iphone, droid, smartphone, kindle, nook, ipad it's all so overwhelming!  I just like my simple life.  I don't even have cable for crying out loud!  Am I strange?  Am I dare I say old fashioned?  I never in a million years would think of describing myself that way.  But as time goes on I feel like I'm stuck in the 90's and you know what?  I like it here!  I don't want to give in!  Are my kids going to suffer for it?  Are they going to be the weird kids without cable or a phone?  I just don't feel it's necessary to have all of this stuff.  It's all so distracting to me.  I want to sit with my family every night at the dining room table and eat a home cooked meal and talk about our day.  I'm no June Cleaver trust me on that.  But I want to cuddle with my kids on the couch and watch old TV shows and movies.  I want to turn on the radio and dance around the living room.  I want to take walks and admire the squirrels and the sky.  Even as we drive we spend quality time together.  We ooh and ahh over the colors in the sunset, shades of purple, pink and blue.  The clouds, the birds, the trees, the sun there's always something to look at and learn from when looking out the window.  But when your head is in a Nintendo DS you miss all of that.

   Today the topic of conversation in the car was about the kids' bus driver and how he dropped the f bomb.  Do my kids even know what the f word is?  They ask me what it means when someone says the m word.  M word?  Don't you mean n word?  They are so innocent and naive.  Fresh canvases and I just want to mold and sculpt them into inquisitive, loving, respectful human beings.  I do my best to be open and honest with them.  I want them to feel free around me.  Free to be themselves without fear holding them back.  So I explain to them words are only words and if they hear one they are unclear on to just ask me what it means and I'll be honest with them.  Am I going to regret that statement?  Ahhh the joys of parenthood!

  But what I'm getting at is if they were watching a tv on the back of my head rest or playing a video game or listening to an ipod would they be discussing the colors of the sky with me?  Or telling me about the bad kid in school who's always getting in trouble?

  I just love connecting with my kids every second that I can.  Oh trust me there are times when I say "you want to play a video game?" and go take a breather.  But there has to be balance!  All things in moderation right?  It's hard enough to find balance in every day activities and when you throw all of these gadgets into the mix it's enough to make your head spin!  Maybe one day I'll be ready to embrace all of these technological toys but for now my focus is on connecting with my kids and my hubby and getting all of my chores done.  No more distractions for me!

Introspection

 Winter is a time for introspection.  A time to calm our bodies and feed our soul.  I find myself reflecting on my ways and actions and looking for ways to improve myself and grow.   I'm inspired by the stillness, and quiet of winter.  A resting period in some ways yet a time to refuel as well.  Each season serves its purpose and I embrace each one as it comes.  Taking advantage of what it has to offer and doing my best not to get wrapped up in the craziness of life.  But I find that its a little difficult to truly slow down this year and I think the Earth is feeling the same way.

   I explored my surroundings today and found that my bushes are very confused.  There are flowers budding and blooming on them and it's the beginning of January.  The plants don't know that these warm temperatures we've been experiencing are unseasonal.  They are just following the natural pattern that they've always known.  How can we not be affected by these unusual occurrences?  I feel so in tune with the Earth and I can't help but feel confused.   It's as if everyone and everything  is moving so fast around me.  I just want to stand on top of a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs "SLOW DOWN"!

  Technology is an incredible tool and allows us to connect with others and gives us access to information and knowledge on a level I never felt was possible.  And it just keeps getting "bigger and better".  But I feel like its being abused tremendously.  People are so engrossed in their technological bubbles that they are forgetting to connect with the people and environment right in front of them.  The Earth is feeling the impact of this in more ways than one.

  We consume and conform because its all we know.  But I've begun to question things.  To look at the bigger picture.  And I feel truly fulfilled living as naturally as possible.  I refuse to contribute to the abuse and ignorance that's going on.  Whether it be consuming animals, spraying pesticides on plants and vegetation, or purchasing chemicals and byproducts of all of the ugliness that has taken over so many parts of the world.  Its our job as Earthlings to care for the Earth and all of its beauty.  Its beauty is alive in animals, trees, flowers, insects, and most of all us...

   Life feels like a never ending process, a journey that continues with twists and turns.  Sometimes up. Sometimes down.  We coast and enjoy the ride at times, but we continue to move forward whether we want to or not.   I'm determined to make a positive impact on our future.  Even if it's just by educating and encouraging my three children on how to respect and nourish the Earth.  I'll continue to learn and grow with them for as long as I have with them, and my hope is that the seeds I've implanted in them will grow and reseed through the generations to come...

  And so I leave you with a quote from an amazingly wise man  “When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”
― John Muir